Wisdom in the Waiting

I know so many of you are walking through hard things. My heart sincerely goes out to you. I hope in sharing what I’m facing and the things I’m learning as I go, will encourage you.

I’ve sadly been fighting a cycle of sickness since October of 2022 (chronic bronchitis, sinus infections, COVID, etc.) I’ll briefly feel better on antibiotics, but the infection comes back with a vengeance after each course is completed. It’s wiped-out my energy and stolen my stamina. I sleep a lot more than I used to. My immune system is non-existent (hypogammaglobulinemia) and without God’s intervention, I will need to begin receiving other people’s antibodies. Unfortunately, there’s no cure, but I’m super grateful there’s treatment. Of course, I would love to be completely healed and not have to do the treatments, but I trust the Lord’s heart for my best, whichever way it goes. I’ll know more when the bloodwork results come back in mid-August.

I’ve taken the month of July and most of August off work to slow down, rest, reflect, read, go on walks, enjoy sunsets, lakes, long drives, and things that are life-giving to me as my energy level allows. My grandma would be so proud. She’d often express her concern that I have too much on my plate and that I need to slow down (most of which has been out of my control, but that’s another story). Slowing down is so hard to do this day and age, wouldn’t you agree?

Despite my physical frustrations, my spirit is being strengthened and encouraged daily by the Lord.

I’ve been reflecting and meditating on a well-known verse that says, “Be still and know that I am God…” (Psalm 146:10) In my study of it, I’ve had a revelation that’s transformed how I walk through this difficult time of waiting in the unknown.

I’m reminded of the Lord’s command to Adam and Eve in Genesis chapter two, “you must not eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, for when you eat of it you will surely die. Later in chapter three, we see the crafty serpent causing them to doubt their own knowledge of God’s desire for them… “Did God really say, ‘You must not eat from any tree in the garden’?” When Eve tells the serpent that if they eat from the tree, they will die, the serpent places further doubt on their knowledge of God by saying, “You will surely not die. For God knows that when you eat of it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.”

When Eve saw that the fruit was ‘desirable for gaining wisdom, she ate it…’

From the dawn of time, the hunger of knowing has lured us out of trusting that God knows what’s best for us, especially when we feel like we’re starving for answers.

You see, the Lord knew that kind of knowing (of good and evil) would destroy intimacy with Him and cause us to distance ourselves from trusting His heart. The striving to figure out the mysteries of life derails us from truly knowing Him. The enemy knows this too.

So, what I realized is this: When I cease striving to know—having all the answers, understanding all the whys, and the mysteries of suffering and worldly sorrows--and become internally still, that’s where I find the treasures of knowing Him and the fellowship of His sufferings.

There’s truly no greater joy. May you find Him there too.

What are you longing to ‘know’ and how is that effecting your intimacy with God?

Where can you carve time in your schedule to linger longer in His presence?

What’s one thing you can trust Him for in the waiting?

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